Please Don't Interrupt

It's an ongoing issue at our home. My daughter is often oblivious to the fact that others are talking, or doesn't feel like what she has to say can wait, or thinks that when you pause to take a breath, you have finished your thought. How are we ever going to teach her not to interrupt when everyone from congressmen to Grammy winners does it on national television?

Kanye Interrupts Obama

I feel like we need Julia Sugarbaker to enter stage left and ask everyone, "Have you all just completely lost your minds?" We certainly seem to have lost something. Our common sense, perhaps?

So here are some basic principles I hope to instill in my daughter and that I hope I live out myself.

1. Don't interrupt. Let the other person have their say--even if you vehemently disagree with them. And actually listen to what he/she is saying instead of tuning him/her out while formulating your own response.

2. Don't call someone out in front of others. If you think someone one is lying, incorrect or just plain full of it, don't point it out it in front of others. If you must do it at all, wait until you can correct the person privately.

3. Let people have their moment. When someone is performing or making a speech or winning and award or breaking a record or executing some heroic act, let it be about them. Never usurp the moment with your own accomplishments, agenda or opinions.

4. Don't be a one-upper. This is letting people have their moment in the smaller, every-day type of situations. When a friend is telling you about their great beach vacation on the Panhandle, don't start talking about your last Caribbean cruise. When a colleague is sharing about how she is, after weeks of training, finally running a nine-minute mile, don't talk about how you can do it in eight.

5. Pay attention and remember. It will go a long way. The girl who answers the phone at the front desk will always make sure you get your calls because you remember that her child is terrified of thunder and ask about his well-being the day after a big storm. Your neighbor will always look out for your house when you're away because you remember he has diabetes and always make special sugar-free treats for him at Christmas.

All of these things are about simply being present to the people around you and to their wants and needs and feelings instead of being so wrapped up in your own. Perhaps we should all start wearing big "It's not always about me" t-shirts. As an only child who is the mother of an only child, I used to think that was a struggle unique to those of us who grew up without siblings. But lately it seems that it is a growing edge for most of the population.

Maybe we can all be a little less Kanye and a little more Beyonce.

Beyonce Makes Good